Writing’s a funny thing. It’s a very personal journey that, when we finally publish or blog or even just dare to let another person read our words, becomes very public, very exposed, very quickly.
Something done for one purpose — self-expression or, I hope in my case most of the time, trying to use my talents to honor God — quickly becomes about what did they think, how many likes did I get on Facebook, did anybody comment.
The struggle between flesh and spirit is real, and the evil one is there to push along our egos, to tell us how very well we turned that phrase and how surely people will be impressed, and somehow this writing offering is suddenly all about us as authors.
In Revelation chapter 2 in the letter to the church at Thyatira, The Message translation says, “I x-ray every motive and make sure you get what’s coming to you.”
If we’re seeking our reward here, that’s what we’ll get — what’s coming to us. But I read yesterday that the things we do in love and service to God with the goal only of honoring Him build eternal things, store up heavenly treasures. That’s a whole lot better than Facebook likes, even if something went viral.
I struggle a bit with writing about my faith journey because I am fully aware of my flaws, constantly reminded of how often I stumble and fall — or to be truthful, dive headlong into seeking my way rather than God’s because it matches up with what I want at that moment.
I feel unworthy because I know me. And surely if you knew me, you’d know that was true. But God is faithful. And He uses weak and broken people who are willing to let Him.
In The Hole in the Gospel, Richard Stearns writes, “I feel a bit like Paul, who called himself the ‘chief’ of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15), giving advice to other sinners — like one blind beggar helping another blind beggar find food. And yet God uses broken and imperfect people to challenge and inspire others.”
So, there it is. My prayer. That God would use my feeble offering of words to inspire and that He will help me keep my motives pure and leave the results to Him.